207; sorry

I was naive not to let you go
When the time was right
I was a fool living in a dream
That I thought could last

But I know that you
Will try to prove me wrong
But it’s what I’ve got to do

I think you’re mistaken
I’m sorry to say
I’m really just a loser
Who’s getting in your way
I think you’ve forgotten
All of your plans
See you never meant to be here
And I think you should know
You’re better off alone

And it’s clear to me
That everything has changed
‘Cause nothing that we do feels
The same any more
And I’ll admit
I’ll take the blame
Maybe we just moved too fast
And how could we expect
Something like this to last

And I know that you will try
And prove me wrong
But it’s what I gotta do
I think you’re mistaken
I’m sorry to say
I’m really just a loser
Who’s getting in your way
I think you’ve forgotten
All of your plans
See you never meant to be here
And I think you should know
You’re better off alone

You and I, we were standing
Watching us fall apart
So let me go and move along

I think you’re mistaken
I’m sorry to say
I’m really just a loser
Who’s getting in your way
I think you’ve forgotten
All of your plans
See I never meant to be here
And I think you should know
You’re better off alone

205; wise words from ray bradbury

“If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”

Ray Bradbury

200; favorite poem as of late

Where You Are by Mark Doty

2.  Everywhere

I thought I’d lost you.  But you said I’m imbued

in the fabric of things, the way
that wax lost from batik shapes
the pattern where the dye won’t take.
I make the space around you, 

and so allow you shape.  And always
you’ll feel the traces of that wax
soaked far into the weave:
the air around your gestures,

the silence after you speak.
That’s me, the slight wind between
your hand and what you’re reaching for;
chair and paper, book or cup:

that close, where I am:  between
where breath ends, air starts.

164; it’s only you

There’ll always be that first true love. The one you first spent the night crying for. The one that never really worked out but you kept your hopes up too much. The one who got away. The one who taught you all you need to know about love. And the one that until now, is still the one you look back to whenever you try to love again.

125; i couldn’t have expressed ‘myself’ any better than this

Does everyone feel this way? When I was young, I was perpetually overconfident or insecure. Either I felt completely useless, unattractive, and worthless, or that I was pretty much a success, and everything I did was bound to succeed. When I was confident, I could overcome the hardest challenges. But all it took was the smallest setback for me to be sure that I was utterly worthless. Regaining my self-confidence had nothing to do with success…whether I experienced it as a failure or triumph was utterly dependent on my mood.

- Michael Berg, The Reader by Bernhard Schlink

I read The Reader in June. I came across these beautiful lines. And all I could think about at that moment was, “This is me.”