171; now that the first semester is over

As a first year student in the Faculty of Arts, I have several goals I intend to achieve this semester. I have found that high school and university are quite different matters on so many levels, such as class hours, the number of assignments, time management, self organization, and independence. Taking a step from high school to university can be a life-changing transition, because we have to start all over again back at one. So, the first goal I wish to accomplish this semester is to survive all the changes. I intend to try to fit in with the new faces and new environment. Also, I cannot help but notice the increasing amount of assignments, and although there are more free periods than in high school, I cannot play around like I used to anymore. Plans have to be made wisely in advance, and I have to check the long to-do lists daily so as to make sure I do not miss any tasks. With all the assignments that come crashing in, and very limited time to do them, it is not an exaggeration when I say I am getting by and barely surviving. I think it would be nice if I can manage to finish this semester without any F’s, which is basically my second goal. I have an intention to make the amount of effort required to at least come away with a B+ GPA. It is often said that grades do not mean anything, which is probably right. However, I still disagree. To me, good grades mean winning a battle against the dark, lazy side of myself, and conquering the voice in my head that tells me to give up. And lastly, while I am still a freshman, I wish to stay happy. One thing I have learned as I grow up is that life gets harder. Like in high school, just when I thought life could not get any more complicated, university came into view. Life is like that. So, knowing all too well that I am going to be a sophomore next year, I would like to embrace and cherish the freshman moments while the year 2011 still lasts. At this point I know what I am supposed to do with my time; I am going to try hard for good grades and my own happiness. It is a brave new beginning, and although university life is sometimes a struggle, I know for a fact that I will be alright.

- Me, June 26th 2011
Second writing assignment: example paragraph

Let’s see. First goal? Yeah. I got it alright.
Second? Well, no F, but it’s still a MAJOR FAIL. I got a C+ on Use of Thai Language. How humiliating is that. Thai is my friggin’ mother language! That being said, I never really did care about it. Besides, I always came away with a B or B+ at Thai anyway in high school.
Last?  Maybe.

153; i just want to say that i’m happy today

I like this place, too. Strange I’ve never seen you there.
As always, your paragraph is outstanding .

20

Thank you Mr Michael :)

There aren’t many corrections. Just a few misspelled words, maybe I was too nervous. XD And no grammatical error. NONE. Wow. And the fact that he likes this place too is awesome. Maybe I’ll run into him one of these days. Also, he didn’t mind me using ‘storey’ hahaha. It’s fun to look at myself panicking.

Just a note. I’ve nailed all the 4 in-class writing tests so far, and come away with 20/20 each. I just realized this and it makes me extremely smiley. :D

And Mr K, you know who you are, my blog isn’t all about ranting.
Just so you know ;)

 

147; fail day

I don’t know what I’ve been doing lately. I don’t know if I’m even on the right track. I’ve spent a lot of time reading books I shouldn’t have been reading at this time, since it’s the month of final exams. Yet I couldn’t help it. Being me, I don’t put down a book until it’s finished, and I don’t call it finished until every page has been thoroughly read. That’s the problem. Mythology: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes is pretty thick. And I’d been reading it for almost a whole month, in fact I just finished it last night. And then I realized that I don’t have much time to prepare for the finals anymore. Time’s running out. And that I still have homework to do (English project presentation, German oral exam, and another movie review for drama arts class), and memorize a whole list of books this publishing house, Bliss, has published, so I will be ready to take the test for a job I applied for next Monday. It didn’t occur to me until last night that I didn’t know what I was doing. And that makes me want to cry so much.

Today isn’t my day either. We had an in-class writing test today, and it was a descriptive paragraph. There were about 5 or 6 titles to choose from, and I ended up with Describe a place you like to go to unwind when you are under a lot of pressure, and I described my favorite bookstore. I was under a lot of pressure already, because the time was so limited, and I’m not good at writing in limited time. Usually as I write, the draft I have within the first hour of writing sucks, and after that first hour, I edit here and there and things get much better. But it’s not the same with the in-class writing tests, because it’s on paper and there’s not much time. So my paragraph sucked even more than I had expected it to. Here are some mistakes that I made:

1) I described it was a 3-storey building. That is a no no. Mr Michael is an American and he prefers us to write American English. I mean, I know storey is British but I somehow was blank at that point in the classroom. I didn’t even bother to change it simply because it didn’t occur to me that it is British. FAIL.

2) Another fail with this storey thing is that I kept using storey ALL THE TIME. When I wrote At the top of the creaky wooden stairs there is the second storey which is a big WTF now that I think of it. Why didn’t it occur to me that I should’ve written The creaky wooden stairs lead up to the second floor which I think sounds a lot better and less stupid.

3) I don’t know if I was supposed to describe a place as in one room like my friends wrote about their bedrooms or if my description of those 3 floors of the bookstore was acceptable. Maybe I overdid it.

4) It wasn’t until I walked out of the classroom with my first draft that I realized I hadn’t put enough details in the paragraph. I spent all the time saying how many bookshelves there are in each floor, and what the yellow labels say the genres are, and how there are tables in the middle of the room, and how I like the smell of old books. I totally forgot about the mood of the place: a lively bookstore? A crowded one? A peaceful one? What’s more, I also forgot about colors. Can you believe it? I didn’t even write any color other than the yellow labels. And trust me, I didn’t even write about any books at all. I only mentioned the bookshelves and how I dug through books with joy. But no specific details of anything which is the whole point of a descriptive paragraph.

5) I misused so many words and tenses. This sucks because I  didn’t have much time to think and go through things. For example, I wrote I never leave this store empty-handed, which I think could’ve been better if I’d used the present perfect, I have never once left... But I don’t know. Another example would be The cashier is right beside the shelves, for which I would like to bang my head against a wall. What is right beside the shelves? What did I mean by ‘right’, and which shelves? On the left side or on the right? I didn’t make myself clear on that one, and it just occurred to me that I hadn’t. Another sentence is, My head is cleared of the stress I had before I entered, which now to think about it I think it just sounds wrong. I don’t know how I could change it, but it sounds so wrong. The thing is I don’t remember what I wrote, head or brain or mind. If I’d written brain I’m gonna shoot myself. But …I had before I entered? I don’t know.. The whole paragraph was written in present simple tense, because everything is either facts or habits of mine. I don’t know how I could change it, still, but I know that it’s wrong, and it’s gonna cost me some points for sure.

Man, if I’d had more time I would’ve made it much better. I’m sure of it. When I handed in the paper, Mr Michael broke my heart by simply beaming at me after taking a look at my long paragraph (I can never write paragraphs shorter than 20 lines. I can never do it. I have tried. I’m just a person with so many things to say.) and saying “Is it excellent again this time?”. Well, lately he’s been grading my papers full marks, with comments saying Excellent! or Beautiful! or things like that that fill my heart with overwhelming joy. And what could I answer him? I knew all too well that this paper was doomed to disappoint him greatly. It was definitely not my best work. I forced a smile, saying, “I hope so.” With that smile still on his face he replied, “I hope so too!” And then I had to turn away because I couldn’t bear the feeling that I was going to disappoint the teacher whose class I am most fond of being in.

In the Use of Thai Language class right after, I was given all the papers back. I failed so many and trust me, I couldn’t even care less. Thai class is never a class I care about. Never. I could fail all the exams and it wouldn’t even bother me at all, while if I got a 15 out of 20 for the paragraph mentioned about earlier, which I think would serve me right, I would start bawling like mad. I cannot accept anything that is below 17 (if out of 20) points in English.

Which comes back to the point. I think I’m gonna get, like, lower than 16 on that descriptive paragraph. And it breaks my heart already to think about.

On the bright side, Miley, my best classmate, chose Describe a classmate of yours who really stands out in some way, and the person she wrote about was me. I’m a subject on her paper! What an honor, really. She’s an excellent writer, usually full-scorer like me. I can’t wait to read it. I’m sure she’s gonna have 20 graced on her paper again this time. I don’t know how she does it, but she does, she’s so brilliant.

I’m so far, far, far from brilliance. What a shudder.

142; it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

I’ve almost always had a lot of fun in my English class here at uni. I don’t know if I’ve ever told anyone that yet. Mr Michael Crabtree is the best native teacher whose class I’ve been in after secondary years. I love my secondary years at Yothinburana School. Cool teachers, cool technology, cool friends, cool everything. High school wasn’t much. I liked Mr Bill whose last name I don’t recall in grade 11th. Other than him, I didn’t really like anyone specifically.

Anyway. My point is that I’ve improved my writing since being in Mr Crabtree’s class. It’s not that I used to suck at writing (honestly I think I was pretty good at it but I don’t know if it’s just me or what), rather that I lacked organization in my essays. Now we’re slowly going back to basics: writing all kinds of paragraphs. We’ve covered example, reason and now we’re doing descriptive. It’s good to see good marks on my graded paragraphs when they are returned to me. I want to share them with the world sometimes, but somehow I don’t it they’re quite good enough. So, no. Anyway, my paragraphs do have nice organization now. But I’m still used to writing the same way, that is putting down everything that comes to mind. Like what I’m doing now. I don’t know. It’s good to not have to think about things in advance sometimes. I’ve spent too much time thinking. And yeah, that’s my whole point. I’m having a great time in English class. Other than that, I don’t really. German is okay. I struggle often now and then. I don’t really enjoy it anymore.  I hate Use of Thai Language Class. I hate it wholeheartedly. Thai is my native language but I’ve never hated studying it more. More about that later.

I don’t know what else to go on about. I like the feeling of sitting down and write without any real purpose. Because without a purpose, nothing is limited. Oh yeah. One more thing. I think my eyes are getting bad. I don’t know if I’m becoming short-sighted or vice versa, but they’re killing me. They’re blurry, and I feel like there’s something in my eyes. To be more specific, something stuck to my pupils or irises or whatever they are. Everything’s blurry and foggy. And my eyes are irritated, and I feel annoyed when that happens.

Well, obviously I can’t find a good concluding sentence, since this post has no sense at all. So, yeah, bis später.

092; today was a fairytale

This is all it took for me to conclude a happy ending. :)

At first I didn’t understand what the +1 Bonus Point meant, seeing that my teacher isn’t someone who gives points that easily. I went right up to him and asked what this meant, and why he gave it to me. His answer was simple, but it had so nice an effect on me for the next 10 hours. He said, “Because I think your paragraph is perfect and excellent. I think it deserves more than a full score.” I almost died of happiness right there.

How could I have seen it coming? I entered the exam room, 15 minutes late because the skytrain broke down that morning. I managed to finish all 3 sets of papers, that would be about 15 pages. The last part I did was this, the “Example Paragraph” writing exam. There were 3 choices of topics to choose from, I chose one and wrote it without even brainstorming or planning the structure, because I knew I didn’t have much time (damn it skytrain). And wow, this exceeded my expectations. And I’m so friggin’ happy.

Today’s such a good day for me. I got this midterm papers back, and then my first Reason Paragraph I had handed in the day before. Guess what? Full score! 20/20. Ha! And then I found out in German class that my score on German Grammer papers (one of the 3, again, including Grammar, Reading Comprehension, and Writing) came out the highest. It wasn’t that good, I made stupid mistakes, but it was the highest somehow.

It looks like I’m not a damsel in distress today. Ha!