076; i promised not to miss you now

How do you think I’m feeling? What do you think I’m supposed to feel? I’m not bulletproof. I’m human. And I can be hurt.

Maybe you don’t realize what this means to me. It means you don’t listen. It means you don’t care enough to think twice, to think about my feelings and what you can do to affect them. And I want so badly to be able to not feel a thing, but that’s not possible. You know I can’t. You know. Still you did it.

Why?

064; i guess you get used to somebody, i guess you get used to the way they make you happy, bring you up when you’re feeling down

I can’t help but feel that we’re drifting apart again. I’m not surprised. It’s always been like this. We drift apart, and come together at some point, only to go separate ways again. It’s what we do. We can never last, no matter how we try, or I try. Time and time from now we might make ends meet again temporarily, and then we’ll part. I think I’ve come to realize and finally accept this: we can never last.

Well, it’s been a nice month having you around. Sometime in the future I might look back and smile, just like I am looking back in the past and smiling right now. We’ve had such a long history. I will forever remember those times we stayed up late together and made it through midnight, talking until the sun rose. I will forever embrace the moments when the day after, you accused me of making your throat sore, and causing you to catch a cold. I know for a fact that I love you, I guess I just always have, and I will still be loving you and caring for you nonetheless. But I know I can’t expect you to do the same.

So, good luck. I wish you all the best. Know that I’m here, I know you and understand you better than anyone. And I hope to see you at the finish line.

060; your prison is walking through this world all alone

I don’t know what to say, or what to think. You and me. I don’t know. Why do you have to make things complicated? Do you want me around or not? Wish you could just say it. Tell me,  I can take it. I think that maybe I just don’t want to have to go on guessing anymore. Are we back again? After all these years? Have you finally realized that I’m the one who understands you better than anyone else, or what? I seriously don’t want to take this the wrong way.  I wish there would come a day when you decide to make it clear to me. But then again, I know it would never happen. I wish it would bother you when you are there, and I am here, that for some reasons I can’t be there for you when you need me. Would it bother you at all?

I’m afraid it wouldn’t.

057; tell me what you want to hear

I love talking to you. I love sharing secrets with you. I love hearing your side of the stories. I love when you avoid mentioning my name. I love how you laugh. I love how you make everything okay. I love how you care.

049; it was a moment of weakness and you said yes

You should’ve said no, you should’ve gone home
You should’ve thought twice before you let it all go
You should’ve known that word ’bout what you did with her
Would get back to me…
And I should’ve been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn’t be asking myself why

You should’ve said no, baby and you might still have me

Now don’t expect me to show up solo, or be escorted by someone else. Because I won’t. Thanks for trying to persuade me, I appreciate how much you want my company. Trust me, if I had to show up there with someone, it would be you. Now don’t regret it. I’m just reminding you that you should’ve said no. :)